Football and me... not so great friends.
I'm bored. Waiting for the Patriots to either win or lose so we can watch a movie. Here's the thing, I get baseball. I even tried to play softball for a season. And by "tried to play" I mean I stood in right field and prayed to the Lord above that the first base player would catch everything, that nothing would be tossed in my general direction and that I would get walked when at bat due to my very short stature. I was the worst damn softball player in the history of the game. BUT... I knew the rules and can follow a baseball game on TV or from the stands.
Football. Total gibberishness. I like watching the guys in their shiny pants. I get a kick out of them falling all over each other and I think John Madden is the goofiest SOB on the planet. There is a strange shaped leather ball that gets thrown or kicked. People run to catch it and then other people try to tackle the dude who caught it. Other people try to stop those people from tackling the first guy. And they try to get touchdowns. Or field goals. Tell me, how many sports are there that use both their feet and hands??? What is up with that? Soccer.. no hands. Baseball... no feet. Easy sneezy. Football? One guy gets to kick. Everyone, go SCREW! You have to use your hands sissy! And the kicker is usually pretty gay looking. Which leads me to my next point.... this is the most homoerotic 9 hours on tv.
And what is UP with 10 minutes taking 2 hours?! Who keeps track of time for these people? There are like 7 time outs for each team. Its like playing with Teddy R. where every moment something goes awry he called time out or Interference.
I have tried to get the rules down, but there is an encyclopedia set of them. Blue line for this, yellow line for that. What happened before technology? Did he fumble or was it an incomplete pass? What the hell is offline? My printer at work does that. 2 point conversion? Again, I had a computer conversion at work, but no one needed shoulder pads.
Oy. A few more weeks and Sundays are going to be Chick Days. I'm making Aaron watch 4 hours of Sex and the City every Sunday for the next 5 months. Take that football!
Okay, time-out. Or is it half time? 1st and 10 or 12 and 25? I just don't get it.
Football. Total gibberishness. I like watching the guys in their shiny pants. I get a kick out of them falling all over each other and I think John Madden is the goofiest SOB on the planet. There is a strange shaped leather ball that gets thrown or kicked. People run to catch it and then other people try to tackle the dude who caught it. Other people try to stop those people from tackling the first guy. And they try to get touchdowns. Or field goals. Tell me, how many sports are there that use both their feet and hands??? What is up with that? Soccer.. no hands. Baseball... no feet. Easy sneezy. Football? One guy gets to kick. Everyone, go SCREW! You have to use your hands sissy! And the kicker is usually pretty gay looking. Which leads me to my next point.... this is the most homoerotic 9 hours on tv.
And what is UP with 10 minutes taking 2 hours?! Who keeps track of time for these people? There are like 7 time outs for each team. Its like playing with Teddy R. where every moment something goes awry he called time out or Interference.
I have tried to get the rules down, but there is an encyclopedia set of them. Blue line for this, yellow line for that. What happened before technology? Did he fumble or was it an incomplete pass? What the hell is offline? My printer at work does that. 2 point conversion? Again, I had a computer conversion at work, but no one needed shoulder pads.
Oy. A few more weeks and Sundays are going to be Chick Days. I'm making Aaron watch 4 hours of Sex and the City every Sunday for the next 5 months. Take that football!
Okay, time-out. Or is it half time? 1st and 10 or 12 and 25? I just don't get it.
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