This I Believe

I was listening to NPR on my way home from work last night. I was frustrated at Slow Old Lady in front of me. I was trying to tell myself that she was someone's mom, that I should slow it down and relax. I wasn't listening.

And then this came on. Click on the title and read the essay it takes you to. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Back?

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This made me slow down. It made me see myself, driving hunched over, furrowed brow and death grip on the wheel.

It made me cool down. Made me see myself, coffee at the ready, foot planted firmly on the gas pedal, eyes darting behind me and in front of me. Looking for a cruiser.

It made me laugh at myself. Made me think about my life and what I hold near and dear. Made me think about when I'm not cool and I lose it too.

Made me think about all the snide comments I make, I hear, and think. Made me consider that people who like crappy movies are entitled to their opinions.

Made me think that none of this matters anyhow.

It made me breathe. I exhaled the breath I'd been holding until I reached the daycare center. Which then made me see myself arriving there in such a state.

I let it all go. And I felt this moment of peace I had not felt in a very, very long time. I just let it drip down off my fingertips and toes. The weight of constantly needing to know, to understand, to always be "on" left.

I sat back. I slowed down. I rubbed my eyes back to where they belong. I settled in.

I got cool, baby.

Cool.