Not just a river in Egypt
I am beginning to understand how deep my denial runs over JP's diagnosis. I'm a tackler: when things go wrong or right I tackle whatever it is with enthusiasm. When I got Clancy, I researched and studied dog behavior, nutrition. When I found out I was having twins, same thing. I joined online groups, read books about twin pregnancy and raising twins. Education is power.
When JP was first given his provisional diagnosis, I started out like this. The information out there for autism is completely overwhelmng. I stopped reading. And then the roller coaster lurched and we were off on another down turn. I pulled way back. I was making the phone calls and setting up services, but I wasn't necessarily in learning mode. I wasn't buying it.
Now I have piles of packets from various agencies and support groups. Most are not even opened. I kept telling myself that after the show was up I would take a day and go through all this stuff.
But, if I'm being honest... I don't want to read it. Because I don't want to believe it. I don't think I've ever experienced true denial, but I guess I am. I need to get over this and start diving in.
When JP was first given his provisional diagnosis, I started out like this. The information out there for autism is completely overwhelmng. I stopped reading. And then the roller coaster lurched and we were off on another down turn. I pulled way back. I was making the phone calls and setting up services, but I wasn't necessarily in learning mode. I wasn't buying it.
Now I have piles of packets from various agencies and support groups. Most are not even opened. I kept telling myself that after the show was up I would take a day and go through all this stuff.
But, if I'm being honest... I don't want to read it. Because I don't want to believe it. I don't think I've ever experienced true denial, but I guess I am. I need to get over this and start diving in.
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