Teeth for Sale
Seth lost a tooth last week. It was one of the front, top teeth that almost seven-year-olds usually lose right before a family photo or special event. He actually looks pretty adorable and suddenly almost seven.
The thing is, the Tooth Fairy only carries a debit card and had no cash at all except for a twenty-dollar bill. So when her assistant Tooth Fairy arrived, she immediately asked him. He, too, only had a twenty.
Unsure about what to do and being the best TF ever, she promptly fell asleep leaving her ATF to handle the situation.
When the TF woke up in the morning she discovered Seth standing in the hallway. He looked a bit thunder-struck.
TF: Morning Seth! What's up buddy?
Seth: Hi mom.
TF: Did the Tooth Fairy come?
Seth: Yeah. I GOT TWENTY BUCKS!
So, the ATF left a six year old a twenty-dollar bill for a single baby tooth.
How do you top this? Where do you go from there? You can't.
Yesterday Seth lost another tooth. A bottom one. This required strategy and creative thinking and a whole boatload of bullshit. I excel in bullshit.
I explained to my sons that there is One Tooth To Rule Them All. We don't know which tooth it is or when it will come out, but when it does, the TF pays up big time. You only get it once, after that its all quarters and singles. Each tooth has a value and we don't know what the value is. Sort of like a Tooth Stock Exchange.
And so this morning Seth woke to find three dollar bills under his pillow. Still a pretty big cash payment, but at least he didn't feel ripped off.
Of course JP is now walking around the house pulling on his teeth asking, "Which one!? Which one is $20?!"
The thing is, the Tooth Fairy only carries a debit card and had no cash at all except for a twenty-dollar bill. So when her assistant Tooth Fairy arrived, she immediately asked him. He, too, only had a twenty.
Unsure about what to do and being the best TF ever, she promptly fell asleep leaving her ATF to handle the situation.
When the TF woke up in the morning she discovered Seth standing in the hallway. He looked a bit thunder-struck.
TF: Morning Seth! What's up buddy?
Seth: Hi mom.
TF: Did the Tooth Fairy come?
Seth: Yeah. I GOT TWENTY BUCKS!
So, the ATF left a six year old a twenty-dollar bill for a single baby tooth.
How do you top this? Where do you go from there? You can't.
Yesterday Seth lost another tooth. A bottom one. This required strategy and creative thinking and a whole boatload of bullshit. I excel in bullshit.
I explained to my sons that there is One Tooth To Rule Them All. We don't know which tooth it is or when it will come out, but when it does, the TF pays up big time. You only get it once, after that its all quarters and singles. Each tooth has a value and we don't know what the value is. Sort of like a Tooth Stock Exchange.
And so this morning Seth woke to find three dollar bills under his pillow. Still a pretty big cash payment, but at least he didn't feel ripped off.
Of course JP is now walking around the house pulling on his teeth asking, "Which one!? Which one is $20?!"
This is absolutely hilarious! I love it. One tooth to rule them all. You deserve an extra $20 for being that quick on your feet!
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