Fatty boom blatty

I really need to lose this weight. I'm a big fatty and I hate it. But I just cannot get myself motivated. I think salad, but buy onion rings. I know how to do it, but I remember how hard I worked last year to lose weight and I just get tired. I'm too tired to diet. Is that even possible? The food is expensive. I mean, salmon is pricey. Spaghetti is like 50 cents a package! Excuses. I know that 's what these are, and I know that I'm putting it off because dammit I like cake! I like beer! After dieting so much and exercisizing like a freak, I looked damn good. But the problem is that I got pregnant and diabetes... so I HAD to watch what I ate constantly. Having the boys was so freeing that I just dread that life of denial, denial, denial. I know what you're thinking... portion control, have it once in a while. I can't do that. If I allow myself one bite, I'll have another tomorrow and then more and more. I'm an all or nothing kind of chick. And right now, it's all fat all the time. I have gone from a size 6 to a fat-ass whopping 12. And I'm stuck here and I hate it.

Gotta run, I think there's a Sam Adams left in the fridge.