.... And Scene

I'm on codeine cough syrup, so put that in your hat while reading this m'kay?

I have been struggling with how to write about the closing of All My Sons. When you begin working on something that you feel close to, you get a bit tunnel-visioned. You tune out a lot and focus and do the work. It was difficult to do that during the past few months. With JP's problems, losing daycare and feeling completely drowned in information, agencies and therapy appointments... it wasn't easy to shut out the world. And then I had an actor quit and write me a personal "I hate you manifesto". It rattled me, I admit it. I let her words sting and it shook my confidence completely. I had much respect for her and what she said was heavily weighted with decades of experience.

Somehow though, it happened. Trudging through and re-casting a principle part with an actress who took hold of an incredibly difficult task and owning it. By tech week, I could no longer remember how the lines had sounded when spoken by the other Kate. I became able to step back out of my own way and let the show take its shape. I noticed the actors lifting each other up. I saw them listening to each other and diving full force into this world.

On opening night, I was a mess. I fully admit it. I knew we had found our show. I fully believed that the actors would be fine, but I just couldn't enjoy it yet. And then all of a sudden the lights were coming down and the audience was on its feet. And there, lined up at stage's edge, were 10 people taking a bow. Ten actors who took an amateur director's vision or direction or whatever you want to call it... and damn if they didn't make it look easy.

People remember moments of great pride. Mothers will usually say that it was the birth of their children. Well, this was my fifth child then. I felt such incredible pride. Fred who portrayed Joe Keller... one of the most demanding and difficult roles ever written... he worked so damn hard on that. A fairly new actor with no formal training... And he NAILED it. Charles who took every direction and ran with it, even the ones I would realize were a bad idea and need to change it. He made every move seem warranted, made Chris into a man and not a statue - which would be easy to do.

I could go on and on about each of them, what they brought on that stage and what they gave every night. From Steve's moment of OH! This is Jim Bayliss! as he leaned against that arbor and gave me a monologue that folks would remember. I am completely astonished at their dedication.

We fell in love with our little show. I couldn't be more thankful to them.

I have more pics to post of everyone in the show. I'm just a bit loopy and the cd is on another floor. Or world.