What Happened to Our Patrick (Setting the Record Straight)
There are rumors out there that need to be set straight. Since Patrick's death last October, we knew people would talk and since then we decided to let them. Its not that we didn't care, its that until we received all the reports and got a final answer, we really didn't have answers ourselves. For six months we waited, not knowing what happened to Patrick or why. Some of us struggled with this more than others, some of us got angry about it, some of us got sad, some of us threw up our hands and decided to plod forward.
A few months ago, the final autopsy reports came in and the groundbreaking news was simple: Cause of death - UNKNOWN.
Here's where it gets difficult. We could push forward and spends thousands and thousands of dollars on a private medical examiner. They would exhume Patrick and do their tests and maybe, just maybe we would get an answer. No one wants to do that. So for now, in this lifetime anyhow, we will never know what happened.
Here's what we do know:
Patrick was being treated for severe anxiety and insomnia and depression. He was under a doctor's care, but not a psychiatrist. Why? Because he couldn't find one that accepted his insurance and those that did take it had a 6 month wait list or longer. (There is a whole other story about the need for healthcare reform here.) This doctor/quack prescribed Patrick a lot of medications. A lot. He took them as prescribed and proceeded to become someone we didn't know. It was a scary time that led to his automobile accident and by the grace of God no one was hurt. As any family would be, we were deeply concerned about Patrick and his safety. He simply was not himself and that's all I will say. Time trudged on and our attempts at talking to him or intervening were fruitless. Patrick's insomnia worsened to the point where he couldn't function normally. In a moment of clarity, of awakening, he agreed to stop taking all the medications he was on and seek alternative treatment.
On October 27th Patrick admitted himself into a hospital to safely, medically wean himself off of the prescription medications. And he did. He was scheduled to be discharged the morning of Thursday, October 30th. That Wednesday night he called my parents and his mom. His spirits were better than they had been in months. He sounded happy and was excited about his next steps in his life. As you know, Patrick died in the early morning hours of October 30th.
His toxicology reports showed nothing. His tests and his exams revealed nothing. There is no medical reason that we know of for his death.
Its hard to accept that an otherwise healthy, 29 year old can die in his sleep. Believe me, there isn't a night I lie down where the thought crosses my mind. I don't think we will ever take another sunrise for granted.
It would be much easier on us if we could point to a reason and direct our anger on something. It sure makes it easier for people to say that Patrick died of a drug overdose: its plausible, it happens often. It makes us feel like we're safe because we don't do drugs. But that isn't what happened, it isn't the truth and I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but young people die. And sometimes, they are taken in their sleep for no reason at all.
That's what happened to Patrick.
A few months ago, the final autopsy reports came in and the groundbreaking news was simple: Cause of death - UNKNOWN.
Here's where it gets difficult. We could push forward and spends thousands and thousands of dollars on a private medical examiner. They would exhume Patrick and do their tests and maybe, just maybe we would get an answer. No one wants to do that. So for now, in this lifetime anyhow, we will never know what happened.
Here's what we do know:
Patrick was being treated for severe anxiety and insomnia and depression. He was under a doctor's care, but not a psychiatrist. Why? Because he couldn't find one that accepted his insurance and those that did take it had a 6 month wait list or longer. (There is a whole other story about the need for healthcare reform here.) This doctor/quack prescribed Patrick a lot of medications. A lot. He took them as prescribed and proceeded to become someone we didn't know. It was a scary time that led to his automobile accident and by the grace of God no one was hurt. As any family would be, we were deeply concerned about Patrick and his safety. He simply was not himself and that's all I will say. Time trudged on and our attempts at talking to him or intervening were fruitless. Patrick's insomnia worsened to the point where he couldn't function normally. In a moment of clarity, of awakening, he agreed to stop taking all the medications he was on and seek alternative treatment.
On October 27th Patrick admitted himself into a hospital to safely, medically wean himself off of the prescription medications. And he did. He was scheduled to be discharged the morning of Thursday, October 30th. That Wednesday night he called my parents and his mom. His spirits were better than they had been in months. He sounded happy and was excited about his next steps in his life. As you know, Patrick died in the early morning hours of October 30th.
His toxicology reports showed nothing. His tests and his exams revealed nothing. There is no medical reason that we know of for his death.
Its hard to accept that an otherwise healthy, 29 year old can die in his sleep. Believe me, there isn't a night I lie down where the thought crosses my mind. I don't think we will ever take another sunrise for granted.
It would be much easier on us if we could point to a reason and direct our anger on something. It sure makes it easier for people to say that Patrick died of a drug overdose: its plausible, it happens often. It makes us feel like we're safe because we don't do drugs. But that isn't what happened, it isn't the truth and I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but young people die. And sometimes, they are taken in their sleep for no reason at all.
That's what happened to Patrick.
Just think almost 1year and no answers it makes a mom feel so bad that i can't find out or know what happen to my baby
ReplyDeleteKathy, I know you think answers might make it easier but the truth is, even answers won't bring Patrick back. We will all keep him alive and with us with our memories, every time we get together and talk about him. It used to break my heart after Jimbo died that no one wanted to talk to me about him. It's hard to bring up a loved one, no one wants to hurt you or see you cry, but I know that not talking about Patrick hurts more. Yes the tears may flow, but the laughter flows too when we remember all the funny things Pat did. There are a thousand "whys" and what ifs" and time will help you see that answers or not Patrick's earthly body is gone. That's the toughest part - but his mind and spirit are with those who knew him and loved him. For ten years I used to cry on New Years Eve when that ball would drop, and I'd have to explain to people who didn't know me well, why I was crying. But now after 25 years I raise my class and say Happy New Years Bo - I miss you and wish you were here still. And in my memory he is. Love you guys, we will be with you on the 19th celebrating all that Patrick was and is. Love Annie
ReplyDeleteI feel it is unfair to the person that passed away to use something that is untrue. I also feel Pats kindness and love was need elsewhere which is the true reason he was taken so soon. Some people need a reason so for those who do let them use the "drug overdose" as their reason if it helps them to get through their day ,but for others who truly know pat they will know that is not the case.
ReplyDeleteCrystal Mason
i really just miss and love my friend. i will always cherish the memories we made.
ReplyDelete