I. Am. Tan.
Welp, I did it. I got a spray tan. Let me tell you a little something about Irish skin: it hates the sun. Here I am, on the very edge of forty and I can honestly tell you that I have never in my life had a tan. Sunburns a plenty, some of them legendary in their hues of blue and purple so deep was the burn. On my honeymoon in 1992, I had a burn so bad I couldn't walk. It looked like I was wearing layers and layers of latex on my skin and the color was a purplish-red that belongs nowhere near skin. Think poster paint. Blistered too.
Another time in 1990 I went to the beach with friends and after 24 hours we had to come home. I was so sun-poisoned and burned I had to lie on a cool white sheet for three days. And then there was the Florida incident of 1987. Beach hopping with a best friend and no sunscreen. I had freckle lines for a decade. In fact, an awful lot of my freckles are from this stint. They never went away.
And so, about ten years ago I said goodbye to the sun and hello to SPF 50. Its okay, I made my peace with it and when I see friends who were/are sun worshippers, I get to feel a little better about the condition of my skin. You see, I don't have leather skin. In fact, I think I did a pretty good job so far avoiding a lot of lines and crows feet. So, I take solace in this. And yet, I still dreamed about what it might be like to wear black and not look like an Oreo cookie.
Oh I've had my share of sunless tanning lotions. I started this routine back when it was nothing more than an orang-ey bronzer in 1986. Thing is, you can't get it everywhere. Typically you have to do the legs and hope that the sun will do a bit for the arms and chest. Eventually it sorta evens out, but its a total pain.
Yesterday, I went to Illusions in Chicopee and I had a Mystic Tan. Today, I want to buy skirts and sundresses. It isn't perfect, but I am very happy with my first time. Here are some tips I picked up before going in case you are feeling adventurous:
1. Exfoliate - Before you go, take a shower and shave and exfoliate A LOT.
2. Moisturize - Dry skin areas will turn darker than other areas. Get a good moisturizer with Vitamin E and spread that shit everywhere. Do this at least 30 minutes before you go.
3. Barrier Cream - This is where I screwed up. I didn't use enough. When you go for the first time, you have to watch a video and they show a woman slathering this on her hands and feet. Use double what they show. My hands are a bit orange. I definitely should have used A LOT more on my hands. It should look like frosting and pay attention to your thumbs and forefinger area. That spot loves sunless lotion and right now that's the worst part of my tan.
4. Clothes - Wear loose, dark clothes there and skip the bra. Even though you towel off after, you don't want to sweat and you definitely don't want your clothes sticking to you.
5. Makeup - Go with the cleanest skin possible. No makeup at all.
6. Hair - They will give you a shower cap, but if you have hair that is long enough to tie up, do it. I pulled mine back in a clip and put the shower cap over that. The cap isn't strong enough to lift hair off your neck, so be sure to tie it.
That's it. I seriously look like a healthy glow and everything!! Its amazing. I am wearing almost no makeup, just a bit of concealer and some blush. No foundation. Crazy how this whole tan thing works. Who knew?
Another time in 1990 I went to the beach with friends and after 24 hours we had to come home. I was so sun-poisoned and burned I had to lie on a cool white sheet for three days. And then there was the Florida incident of 1987. Beach hopping with a best friend and no sunscreen. I had freckle lines for a decade. In fact, an awful lot of my freckles are from this stint. They never went away.
And so, about ten years ago I said goodbye to the sun and hello to SPF 50. Its okay, I made my peace with it and when I see friends who were/are sun worshippers, I get to feel a little better about the condition of my skin. You see, I don't have leather skin. In fact, I think I did a pretty good job so far avoiding a lot of lines and crows feet. So, I take solace in this. And yet, I still dreamed about what it might be like to wear black and not look like an Oreo cookie.
Oh I've had my share of sunless tanning lotions. I started this routine back when it was nothing more than an orang-ey bronzer in 1986. Thing is, you can't get it everywhere. Typically you have to do the legs and hope that the sun will do a bit for the arms and chest. Eventually it sorta evens out, but its a total pain.
Yesterday, I went to Illusions in Chicopee and I had a Mystic Tan. Today, I want to buy skirts and sundresses. It isn't perfect, but I am very happy with my first time. Here are some tips I picked up before going in case you are feeling adventurous:
1. Exfoliate - Before you go, take a shower and shave and exfoliate A LOT.
2. Moisturize - Dry skin areas will turn darker than other areas. Get a good moisturizer with Vitamin E and spread that shit everywhere. Do this at least 30 minutes before you go.
3. Barrier Cream - This is where I screwed up. I didn't use enough. When you go for the first time, you have to watch a video and they show a woman slathering this on her hands and feet. Use double what they show. My hands are a bit orange. I definitely should have used A LOT more on my hands. It should look like frosting and pay attention to your thumbs and forefinger area. That spot loves sunless lotion and right now that's the worst part of my tan.
4. Clothes - Wear loose, dark clothes there and skip the bra. Even though you towel off after, you don't want to sweat and you definitely don't want your clothes sticking to you.
5. Makeup - Go with the cleanest skin possible. No makeup at all.
6. Hair - They will give you a shower cap, but if you have hair that is long enough to tie up, do it. I pulled mine back in a clip and put the shower cap over that. The cap isn't strong enough to lift hair off your neck, so be sure to tie it.
That's it. I seriously look like a healthy glow and everything!! Its amazing. I am wearing almost no makeup, just a bit of concealer and some blush. No foundation. Crazy how this whole tan thing works. Who knew?
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