Something I've been thinking a lot about is what defines a good parent and how at different stages in my mommy career that definition has changed.
When I was super young (21) I thought that I needed things. A good parent has a house with a yard. She has a nice kitchen. The baby has the best of everything in clothes, toys, car seat, etc.
A little time went by and I started to see that the hand me downs were fine. My crappy apartment seemed not to have a horrible affect on my 9 month old who was speaking in complete sentences. It also certainly had no ill will towards my overly cheerful and content second child.
I started to see that maybe good parenting meant great discipline. And then I had toddlers and learned that discipline was really, really hard. Trying to get a 2 year old and 4 year old through the grocery store... certainly that wasn't what it was about.
Okay, then maybe its school. Go to everything, check homework, re-check homework, quiz 'em on spelling, ask 'em questions. Drill 'em when you can. Cover the report cards like a Whitewater investigation.
Works on some. Not on others. Autumn loves school, so she was easy. Danielle suffers from LSS (Little Sister Syndrome, I have it too) and likes for things to be quick and easy and wants help. She does wonderfully in school, but the love and passion aren't there yet. School is a necessity to her.
So, here I am now nearing my 34th birthday and I think maybe I've got it figured out. Maybe.
Here it is:
Balance. The most difficult and most elusive parenting trick is striking a balance. Balance between being strict and being permissive, between being a parent who is open and one who is trying to be a best friend. Balance between "Yes you can go here...." and "No way". Balance between, I know you should have a balanced meal every day and just eat your nuggets. Balance between I love you so much I'm smothering you and I love you but please leave me the hell alone for 5 damn minutes. Yeah. I think its balance.
I've long believed that too much of anything is bad. As too little of anything can also be bad (heroin not included).
So, now that I have this figured out what do I do? Walk the tightrope I guess and cling like a momma to it when I fall. Thankfully though, I have a few nuts, I mean nets to catch me.
P.S. LSS is real. I'll post more on that another day.
When I was super young (21) I thought that I needed things. A good parent has a house with a yard. She has a nice kitchen. The baby has the best of everything in clothes, toys, car seat, etc.
A little time went by and I started to see that the hand me downs were fine. My crappy apartment seemed not to have a horrible affect on my 9 month old who was speaking in complete sentences. It also certainly had no ill will towards my overly cheerful and content second child.
I started to see that maybe good parenting meant great discipline. And then I had toddlers and learned that discipline was really, really hard. Trying to get a 2 year old and 4 year old through the grocery store... certainly that wasn't what it was about.
Okay, then maybe its school. Go to everything, check homework, re-check homework, quiz 'em on spelling, ask 'em questions. Drill 'em when you can. Cover the report cards like a Whitewater investigation.
Works on some. Not on others. Autumn loves school, so she was easy. Danielle suffers from LSS (Little Sister Syndrome, I have it too) and likes for things to be quick and easy and wants help. She does wonderfully in school, but the love and passion aren't there yet. School is a necessity to her.
So, here I am now nearing my 34th birthday and I think maybe I've got it figured out. Maybe.
Here it is:
Balance. The most difficult and most elusive parenting trick is striking a balance. Balance between being strict and being permissive, between being a parent who is open and one who is trying to be a best friend. Balance between "Yes you can go here...." and "No way". Balance between, I know you should have a balanced meal every day and just eat your nuggets. Balance between I love you so much I'm smothering you and I love you but please leave me the hell alone for 5 damn minutes. Yeah. I think its balance.
I've long believed that too much of anything is bad. As too little of anything can also be bad (heroin not included).
So, now that I have this figured out what do I do? Walk the tightrope I guess and cling like a momma to it when I fall. Thankfully though, I have a few nuts, I mean nets to catch me.
P.S. LSS is real. I'll post more on that another day.
God, Jenn, I've said it before and I'll say it again: you are such a good writer. And very perceptive and real. And you make me laugh, which God knows I NEED when walking this tightrope they call parenting!
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