An Open Letter To Trooper Pinara
I would like to thank the kind State Trooper who pulled me over on Sunday night. After a near collision on the ice and snow while driving all of 25mph on Route 291, it was so kind of you to help.
That you yanked me to my feet in order to help me out of my car was kindness defined.
Your brisk shove forward to help me find the hood of my car was also a gesture of politeness. You obviously take your badge and superior position quite seriously.
Thank you for shouting your words to make sure I could hear you clearly. Thank you for your crisp and direct instructions while you administered a field sobriety test on me. Watching you stumble in the snow/ice (that you had just said were NOT BAD ENOUGH TO SLIDE INTO THE BREAKDOWN LANE!) while you tried to walk heel to toe for NINE STEPS EXACTLY!!! NO STOPPING!!! NO STUMBLING!!! made me feel quite at ease.
I will say that you looked thoroughly impressed when I was able to very easily count to 30 while standing on one foot. Left leg held nearly waist high... I could tell that you appreciated my over-achievement at holding it there, extending my leg for an extra beat and then gracefully closing into fifth position. I hadn't held that position in a decade, but it felt good to see that I still had it in me. Burning muscles and screaming joints aside, I frigging nailed it. Thank you Mrs. Galipeau: the ballet lessons paid off in a silent, poetic justice that made me feel quite smug in that moment.
Watching the carsdriving sliding by us was not scary in the least. Its nice to know that there are folks like you out there, earning my tax dollars, making sure that motorists careening around a corner in the ice could be field tested and accused of driving to endanger and driving under the influence.
You Trooper Panera are the epitome of your kind. I look forward to seeing you again at my appeal in court.
I can define the whole thing in two words: SUCK IT.
1/21/09 Update:
My post has been linked at this site: http://www.westernmasscopwatch.net/
That you yanked me to my feet in order to help me out of my car was kindness defined.
Your brisk shove forward to help me find the hood of my car was also a gesture of politeness. You obviously take your badge and superior position quite seriously.
Thank you for shouting your words to make sure I could hear you clearly. Thank you for your crisp and direct instructions while you administered a field sobriety test on me. Watching you stumble in the snow/ice (that you had just said were NOT BAD ENOUGH TO SLIDE INTO THE BREAKDOWN LANE!) while you tried to walk heel to toe for NINE STEPS EXACTLY!!! NO STOPPING!!! NO STUMBLING!!! made me feel quite at ease.
I will say that you looked thoroughly impressed when I was able to very easily count to 30 while standing on one foot. Left leg held nearly waist high... I could tell that you appreciated my over-achievement at holding it there, extending my leg for an extra beat and then gracefully closing into fifth position. I hadn't held that position in a decade, but it felt good to see that I still had it in me. Burning muscles and screaming joints aside, I frigging nailed it. Thank you Mrs. Galipeau: the ballet lessons paid off in a silent, poetic justice that made me feel quite smug in that moment.
Watching the cars
You Trooper Panera are the epitome of your kind. I look forward to seeing you again at my appeal in court.
I can define the whole thing in two words: SUCK IT.
1/21/09 Update:
My post has been linked at this site: http://www.westernmasscopwatch.net/
ooh, i hope you blog about your appeal!
ReplyDeleteLUCKY YOU DIDN'T GET HURT!! I BET SHE WAS 5'2 HAHAH NAIL HER JENN, KATE
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