Fight the Good Fight... words from a black-belt mom
Well, its Friday. Tomorrow morning at 10am Aaron and I get to escape for about 30 hours. We are heading to the Seacrest for some wedding research and planning. And LOBSTER!! I haven't had a lobster in about 2 years.
My big plans for tomorrow night: with a bottle of Phantom in one hand, and Mr. Aaron holding the other... I plan on walking the beach and watching the sunset. I don't care how cold it is... that is what good company is for. Please note that leaves no hands for a glass. Note to self: pack silly straws.
The boys' screenings are going along and we are just waiting right now for Tufts to either say yes or no to the neuropsych testing. The managed care woman at the pediatrician's office holds little hope that this will be covered. Fingers crossed... who knows.
~~~
Grappling with the future. I've seen the dark side of ADHD. I've seen how it can go bad and it scares me. Seth's possible diagnosis (a no-brainer for me, testing not needed) actually freaks me out more than JP's. I know that right now its more difficult to live with. JP plays quietly at home, usually with his trains or cars. But Seth is downright wild at times. Funny, yes. But scary too. He makes Dash from The Incredibles look like, well, me trying to run. The boy can move.
So, when you look forward to a lifetime of dealing with this. When you really look at what he's going to face in school, the unfair expectations already placed on boys to sit and learn... it pisses me off to be honest. No, I'm not internalizing this. I'm not taking it on and wanting my son to fit into a nice little circle spot clearly not designed for a child with this gift. I've been dealing with guilt over what I did wrong, what I could have done differently. And I decided today that Seth and JP are exactly who the gods wanted them to be. And they were given to me. Both of my boys were loaned to me and some day they will be in the world, making it better and making waves. Its getting there that is going to be tough for them. For different reasons, but difficult just the same.
I worry that JP's quietness will allow him to be brushed aside too often. And I worry that Seth's energy will become something that well-meaning teachers will want to lasso and quell rather than use and harness.
Today I put on the rhino-skin and prepare for a good fight that will no doubt last another 15 years. I guess every mom who refuses to go quietly, whose children dance to their own beat fight a similar fight.
For the record: I don't plan on choosing my battles. I don't plan on being complacent. And I sure as hell don't plan on my boys to do the same. I will not force them to be anything other than who they are. And I'm telling you right now... I pity the fool who dares to try.
My big plans for tomorrow night: with a bottle of Phantom in one hand, and Mr. Aaron holding the other... I plan on walking the beach and watching the sunset. I don't care how cold it is... that is what good company is for. Please note that leaves no hands for a glass. Note to self: pack silly straws.
The boys' screenings are going along and we are just waiting right now for Tufts to either say yes or no to the neuropsych testing. The managed care woman at the pediatrician's office holds little hope that this will be covered. Fingers crossed... who knows.
~~~
Grappling with the future. I've seen the dark side of ADHD. I've seen how it can go bad and it scares me. Seth's possible diagnosis (a no-brainer for me, testing not needed) actually freaks me out more than JP's. I know that right now its more difficult to live with. JP plays quietly at home, usually with his trains or cars. But Seth is downright wild at times. Funny, yes. But scary too. He makes Dash from The Incredibles look like, well, me trying to run. The boy can move.
So, when you look forward to a lifetime of dealing with this. When you really look at what he's going to face in school, the unfair expectations already placed on boys to sit and learn... it pisses me off to be honest. No, I'm not internalizing this. I'm not taking it on and wanting my son to fit into a nice little circle spot clearly not designed for a child with this gift. I've been dealing with guilt over what I did wrong, what I could have done differently. And I decided today that Seth and JP are exactly who the gods wanted them to be. And they were given to me. Both of my boys were loaned to me and some day they will be in the world, making it better and making waves. Its getting there that is going to be tough for them. For different reasons, but difficult just the same.
I worry that JP's quietness will allow him to be brushed aside too often. And I worry that Seth's energy will become something that well-meaning teachers will want to lasso and quell rather than use and harness.
Today I put on the rhino-skin and prepare for a good fight that will no doubt last another 15 years. I guess every mom who refuses to go quietly, whose children dance to their own beat fight a similar fight.
For the record: I don't plan on choosing my battles. I don't plan on being complacent. And I sure as hell don't plan on my boys to do the same. I will not force them to be anything other than who they are. And I'm telling you right now... I pity the fool who dares to try.
I'm glad you want to let your kids be themselves. I think that part of the reason that it is so wonderful for students to experience so many teachers is that each teacher will find something different in them. There will be a teacher who understands Seth and can harness that energy and there will be a teacher who knows that inside quiet JP is something special and she/he will work to bring that out.
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