Mom's gift
December 23rd. Christmas Eve Eve. I'm not done my shopping, my cleaning, never sent out my Christmas cards. My house is still not painted inside. My daughter's bedroom is a total disaster area. We're using bill money for gifts. Stressed out a bit. Trying to keep it balanced, keep it in perspective. I've been through harder times, but I didn't really know there was another way back then.
Growing up we went through some lean times. I remember when we were kids we would dress in front of an open stove to keep warm. I remember macaroni dinners with crushed tomatoes. We thought it was mom's specialty and ate it with bread and butter. I remember my mom standing by the kitchen sink, watching us eat. I thought she was busy, but now I think she was not eating so we would have enough. She never mentioned this to me, but I've had to do the same before. I know what it means to hope that they don't quite finish everything on their plates so I could eat too.
The other day I had a conversation with my sister Lisa about the harder times growing up. She remembered these times with more details than I.
My parents created a home that always felt safe, secure. I only have fun memories of my childhood. Our house felt warm and my thoughts of childhood don't include the cold. I don't remember winter as anything other than sledding, snowmen and Christmas caroling with the neighborhood kids. Hot chocolate and mini marshmallows.
So maybe we didn't get piles of presents under the tree. Maybe we didn't get a closet full of clothes for school. My mom made sure that the gift we got was one that would last a lifetime. She made sure that whatever problems existed stayed adult problems. I have no idea if my parents ever fought. I don't know if my mom ever felt anything other than joy in parenting five kids and holding the house together on a shoestring budget. I don't know if she, like me, ever sat at a kitchen table with bills in order by shutoff date. I imagine she must have. But her lifelong gift to her kids was to never let any of us know.
Occasionally she will say something about those days to us, but its usually just a sentence or two. And she ends with, "We made it through and you will too."
She's always right.
Growing up we went through some lean times. I remember when we were kids we would dress in front of an open stove to keep warm. I remember macaroni dinners with crushed tomatoes. We thought it was mom's specialty and ate it with bread and butter. I remember my mom standing by the kitchen sink, watching us eat. I thought she was busy, but now I think she was not eating so we would have enough. She never mentioned this to me, but I've had to do the same before. I know what it means to hope that they don't quite finish everything on their plates so I could eat too.
The other day I had a conversation with my sister Lisa about the harder times growing up. She remembered these times with more details than I.
My parents created a home that always felt safe, secure. I only have fun memories of my childhood. Our house felt warm and my thoughts of childhood don't include the cold. I don't remember winter as anything other than sledding, snowmen and Christmas caroling with the neighborhood kids. Hot chocolate and mini marshmallows.
So maybe we didn't get piles of presents under the tree. Maybe we didn't get a closet full of clothes for school. My mom made sure that the gift we got was one that would last a lifetime. She made sure that whatever problems existed stayed adult problems. I have no idea if my parents ever fought. I don't know if my mom ever felt anything other than joy in parenting five kids and holding the house together on a shoestring budget. I don't know if she, like me, ever sat at a kitchen table with bills in order by shutoff date. I imagine she must have. But her lifelong gift to her kids was to never let any of us know.
Occasionally she will say something about those days to us, but its usually just a sentence or two. And she ends with, "We made it through and you will too."
She's always right.
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jenn isn't it great that we realize how great we have it. I always tell myself that it's going to be ok because mom and dad made it with less than we have. I know in my heart that everything is going to turn out ok in the end. thanks mom and dad for all the lesons you taught us. we finally get it.
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