36
Well, I'm officially closer to 40 than 30. I often kid around about turning 21 or 29 again and again. But you know, this third decade has been pretty awesome so far. Aging means more pricing botox or wondering how to pay for a boob lift. It means more than anti-cellulite lotions (which I've never tried I'm proud to say). I don't mind trying a different shade of black every 6-8 weeks on my hair. Hell, I don't even mind the creaks and groans coming from my knees and ankles and back. I figure the trade off is pretty good.
In your 20's there is just so much work to do, so much to prove and find out. I felt like I couldn't run fast enough, fit into small enough size clothes or afford the best labels. I was consistently on a search to find me rather than slow down long enough to let myself be found. Maybe that's what the creaking joints were for? To slow me down, to give me a moment to take a breath and really get to know who I am, where I'm headed and how the hell I got here.
I believe very much in fate. In karma. I also believe we live our choices. That all the good deeds in the world will never equal one good choice or two. I've made some terrible decisions, I've made huge mistakes and small ones. I try to do right but I can absolutely screw it up too. Owning one's faults is humbling. Writing them on a blog is sort of like saying, "Hey! I'm a fuck up too! Leave a comment!" :0) So, what's so great about being in your (ugh) late 30's?
Its knowing that everyone else screws it up too. Its liking your imperfections and accepting them. Its slowing down to enjoy the view. Picking and choosing carefully rather than trying to bull your way through life, never looking back. Its taking a moment and considering the fallout of those choices and then making a decision based on pure instinct. Instinct that you have honed, learned to respect and listen to.
Its learning how to do one thing at a time and appreciating the work put into a job well done. Its knowing when you need a night out with the girls, or a night in with your family. Its celebrating a moment and secretly hiding it away with a note to self: this is one you'll remember.
Its learning that its okay to be afraid, its also really okay to say that out loud. Its having been around long enough to respect that your plans aren't necessarily what's in the cards.
So, in about an hour or so I'm taking my chunky and slightly spongy 36 year old ass to Route 202 Tattoo. And tonight, I'll sleep with angel wings on my right shoulder. Green wings, wrapped protectively around three black shields. Maybe I'll have a visit with Pat, and maybe I won't. Either way, I'll be sleeping in my home. With the love of my life and four great, happy, healthy kids and four fur-covered ones as well.
And if it took three decades of screw ups and bad decisions balanced against some good ones to get here... I'll take it. Jiggly butt and all.
In your 20's there is just so much work to do, so much to prove and find out. I felt like I couldn't run fast enough, fit into small enough size clothes or afford the best labels. I was consistently on a search to find me rather than slow down long enough to let myself be found. Maybe that's what the creaking joints were for? To slow me down, to give me a moment to take a breath and really get to know who I am, where I'm headed and how the hell I got here.
I believe very much in fate. In karma. I also believe we live our choices. That all the good deeds in the world will never equal one good choice or two. I've made some terrible decisions, I've made huge mistakes and small ones. I try to do right but I can absolutely screw it up too. Owning one's faults is humbling. Writing them on a blog is sort of like saying, "Hey! I'm a fuck up too! Leave a comment!" :0) So, what's so great about being in your (ugh) late 30's?
Its knowing that everyone else screws it up too. Its liking your imperfections and accepting them. Its slowing down to enjoy the view. Picking and choosing carefully rather than trying to bull your way through life, never looking back. Its taking a moment and considering the fallout of those choices and then making a decision based on pure instinct. Instinct that you have honed, learned to respect and listen to.
Its learning how to do one thing at a time and appreciating the work put into a job well done. Its knowing when you need a night out with the girls, or a night in with your family. Its celebrating a moment and secretly hiding it away with a note to self: this is one you'll remember.
Its learning that its okay to be afraid, its also really okay to say that out loud. Its having been around long enough to respect that your plans aren't necessarily what's in the cards.
So, in about an hour or so I'm taking my chunky and slightly spongy 36 year old ass to Route 202 Tattoo. And tonight, I'll sleep with angel wings on my right shoulder. Green wings, wrapped protectively around three black shields. Maybe I'll have a visit with Pat, and maybe I won't. Either way, I'll be sleeping in my home. With the love of my life and four great, happy, healthy kids and four fur-covered ones as well.
And if it took three decades of screw ups and bad decisions balanced against some good ones to get here... I'll take it. Jiggly butt and all.
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