Goodbyes
We estimated around 500 people. Five hundred. My sister and my Pat... talk about loved. Its Monday morning and I'm up, the house is sleeping. Quiet moments are rare these past few days and I find that these are the times that I feel it, the loss. The pain, I can't believe that I feel it in my bones, my chest. I've never lost someone I was so close to. I was okay with that God. Really.
Today is the day I guess. I just want it to be over. I don't want them to close that casket lid. I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again. I can't imagine not having him call me Friday to come and hang out. I can't imagine not planning his wedding.
His friend Matt came in from Oklahoma last night. Drove twenty hours to be here. Matt grew up with Pat, lived right across the street from us. His brother David and his sister Kim were my two best friends. He missed the wake, but he came to my parents' house last night. I don't think he knows how much we appreciate this. Matt was there with Pat through a whole lot of his life. Seeing Pat's friends... its just the best thing. All of his closest friends were at mom's last night and it was so great to have them there.
Mr. Hauschild who served on the Selectboard with Pat came in. The words he said to my sisters and I about Patrick were incredible. Absolutely beautiful. Kathy said to us later, "I knew I had a great son, but hearing it from him means they knew it too."
We are taking Kathy's lead on why. She believes he was needed elsewhere. He was taken so he do for others what he did here. I just hope that before that happens, he gets to sit and talk with our grandparents and throw a ball around with Klyde.
I feel him with me. I do. Little things you know? A song on the radio or a little memory of him and I feel him. I hope that never stops.
I need to get dressed and ready. Readers... thanks. Thanks for stopping in here. I hope that these thoughts can somehow do more than just make me feel better.
Today is the day I guess. I just want it to be over. I don't want them to close that casket lid. I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again. I can't imagine not having him call me Friday to come and hang out. I can't imagine not planning his wedding.
His friend Matt came in from Oklahoma last night. Drove twenty hours to be here. Matt grew up with Pat, lived right across the street from us. His brother David and his sister Kim were my two best friends. He missed the wake, but he came to my parents' house last night. I don't think he knows how much we appreciate this. Matt was there with Pat through a whole lot of his life. Seeing Pat's friends... its just the best thing. All of his closest friends were at mom's last night and it was so great to have them there.
Mr. Hauschild who served on the Selectboard with Pat came in. The words he said to my sisters and I about Patrick were incredible. Absolutely beautiful. Kathy said to us later, "I knew I had a great son, but hearing it from him means they knew it too."
We are taking Kathy's lead on why. She believes he was needed elsewhere. He was taken so he do for others what he did here. I just hope that before that happens, he gets to sit and talk with our grandparents and throw a ball around with Klyde.
I feel him with me. I do. Little things you know? A song on the radio or a little memory of him and I feel him. I hope that never stops.
I need to get dressed and ready. Readers... thanks. Thanks for stopping in here. I hope that these thoughts can somehow do more than just make me feel better.
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