And what is this infatuation with our offspring? They say that Autism is either the greatest epidemic we have or the over-diagnosing of it is. Here's my thoughts on the topic:
Moms used to stay home. They graduated high school, got married and had babies. Then, we started going to college and wanting careers. Our minds were turned on and we were bringing home the bacon baby! We worked. Hard. But, what about family? So, you had a first real generation of "working mothers". They went to work during the day and mommied as much as they could jam into their lives. fine. But... then the guilt set in. Moms stopped wanting to go back to work. They worked for good grades, they worked for better grades in college and then on to a master's degree. All that studying, all those hours in an office surrounded by other educated people. Enter baby. Hearts swelled along with boobs. Baby becomes number 1. Mommy quits the day job and stays home. All fine right? Well, when you take a woman who for years had been surrounded by lots of adults and strand her on Baby Island.... she gets either fulfilled and happy or a bit off balanced. The off balance might lead to a small obsessive compulsion to read every child rearing book and visit every website. Little Johnny is the most amazing little guy! But, what if little Johnny is not meeting all the standards? What if he isn't talking when the books say he should? Little Johnny becomes Mommy's Little Science Project. And all of a sudden, Mom can't go back to work for realsies. Johnny needs her. He becomes her greatest thesis.
This is why there are so many millions of Little Johnnies out there quickly becoming Little Science Projects. Because Johnny can't just be a regular drooling, stumbling, imperfect, normal kid. If he can't be the special althlete or pianist, then dammit he'll be special in another way. And the attention and business of life with doctors appointments and therapists and meds and special toys and special needs and special clothes makes Mommy the greatest CEO of the LSP, Inc. Nothing says loving like a mom with a special little kid.
I honestly believe these parents think that they are doing exactly the right thing. I think that the books will confirm their suspicions. And I also believe that specialists will absolutely find something to diagnosis and bill you for. I believe the drug companies think LSP will be a better Little Johnnie with their meds to help. At some point, we need our pediatricians to help put the brakes on this train wreck.
I have been through this myself. I had a therapist try to tell me my son might have Asperger's Syndrome. With disbelief I: read every book, visited every website, made every doctor appointment. Until one day, I looked at my loveable and goofy and adorable little boy. Really looked at him. He is as normal a little boy there is. He lost his hearing for a bit and when the sound suddenly came back on, it was jarring. He is having a bit of trouble adjusting to that, but who the hell wouldn't?
I started down the path. And the books and the websites and even other well-meaning and wonderful moms confirmed these suspicions. But they don't KNOW him. They only know what I tell them. Asperger's is a serious thing. Autism is a serious thing. And my son doesn't have these things. I'm not a mom who denies hard truths, I'm not a mom who shies away from possibility. But, I am a mom who has enough in her life. I'm a busy woman with a great life.
Moms used to stay home. They graduated high school, got married and had babies. Then, we started going to college and wanting careers. Our minds were turned on and we were bringing home the bacon baby! We worked. Hard. But, what about family? So, you had a first real generation of "working mothers". They went to work during the day and mommied as much as they could jam into their lives. fine. But... then the guilt set in. Moms stopped wanting to go back to work. They worked for good grades, they worked for better grades in college and then on to a master's degree. All that studying, all those hours in an office surrounded by other educated people. Enter baby. Hearts swelled along with boobs. Baby becomes number 1. Mommy quits the day job and stays home. All fine right? Well, when you take a woman who for years had been surrounded by lots of adults and strand her on Baby Island.... she gets either fulfilled and happy or a bit off balanced. The off balance might lead to a small obsessive compulsion to read every child rearing book and visit every website. Little Johnny is the most amazing little guy! But, what if little Johnny is not meeting all the standards? What if he isn't talking when the books say he should? Little Johnny becomes Mommy's Little Science Project. And all of a sudden, Mom can't go back to work for realsies. Johnny needs her. He becomes her greatest thesis.
This is why there are so many millions of Little Johnnies out there quickly becoming Little Science Projects. Because Johnny can't just be a regular drooling, stumbling, imperfect, normal kid. If he can't be the special althlete or pianist, then dammit he'll be special in another way. And the attention and business of life with doctors appointments and therapists and meds and special toys and special needs and special clothes makes Mommy the greatest CEO of the LSP, Inc. Nothing says loving like a mom with a special little kid.
I honestly believe these parents think that they are doing exactly the right thing. I think that the books will confirm their suspicions. And I also believe that specialists will absolutely find something to diagnosis and bill you for. I believe the drug companies think LSP will be a better Little Johnnie with their meds to help. At some point, we need our pediatricians to help put the brakes on this train wreck.
I have been through this myself. I had a therapist try to tell me my son might have Asperger's Syndrome. With disbelief I: read every book, visited every website, made every doctor appointment. Until one day, I looked at my loveable and goofy and adorable little boy. Really looked at him. He is as normal a little boy there is. He lost his hearing for a bit and when the sound suddenly came back on, it was jarring. He is having a bit of trouble adjusting to that, but who the hell wouldn't?
I started down the path. And the books and the websites and even other well-meaning and wonderful moms confirmed these suspicions. But they don't KNOW him. They only know what I tell them. Asperger's is a serious thing. Autism is a serious thing. And my son doesn't have these things. I'm not a mom who denies hard truths, I'm not a mom who shies away from possibility. But, I am a mom who has enough in her life. I'm a busy woman with a great life.
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